I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
