dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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