she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
