I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
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may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
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When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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