no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
