I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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