Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You pole danced in your parka.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
