dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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