He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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