Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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