I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
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I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize