Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
