he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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