just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
