His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
