so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
