Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
