Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize