That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I would ride that face into the sunset
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
