hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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