he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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