she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
