I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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