I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
