dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
