Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
