Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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