so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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