i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
