I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
