Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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