all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
