oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
