Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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