At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
