it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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