Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
