Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
