we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
