3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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