Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures