That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.