I didn't shave. On purpose
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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