FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
