Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.