last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
