Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
