I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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