Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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