I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
