Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
