tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
