I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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