dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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