So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
