one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
