On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
