kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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