What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
