I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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