the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
