you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
