do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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