I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
