I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
