I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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